Existential Therapy. Helping you to find solutions to the deeper problems in your life through therapy
“Seeking guidance is a sign that you need help. We humans are social animals. Our strength is in our ability to work together and collaborate. If you could fix that problem alone, it would already be fixed”
Q. What is Existential Therapy?
A. Existential Therapy is not a type of therapy (like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) but an approach in therapy that focuses on helping a person to resolve ‘deeper internal conflicts’ that are negatively affecting their mood and quality of life.
Q. Is Existential Therapy overly intellectual and analytical?
A. Although Existential Psychology has its origins in Existential Philosophy, don’t expect an Existential Psychology session to be like a philosophical lecture or a purely intellectual discussion. Feelings (emotions), relationships, and all the other factors that are discussed in a standard therapy session are also covered in these sessions. What is added to the mix is how your life is currently affected by the ‘big stuff’ we tend to avoid, such as death (and the fear of death), freedom and independence, responsibility and belonging, isolation and disconnection, will, meaning, and purpose.
Q. Why Existential Therapy?
Many clients who seek Existential Therapy do not know exactly why they are feeling depressed or anxious. They have tried numerous ways to ‘feel better’ by changing what they do, how they think, where they live, and who they spend time with, but nothing seems to work. They have tried therapy and counselling, or other spiritual approaches, but nothing has been effective. They have read many books, watched hours of YouTube videos, and over-analysed everything, but still feel stuck. To these clients, Existential Therapy offers a new approach to an unsolved problem.
Q. What is the goal of Existential Therapy?
A. As with all psychotherapy and counselling, Existential Therapy does not change the world around you or how the people around you act. However, it has the potential to help you change how you feel about your life and how you respond to life’s challenges. There is no magic cure or fix, but there is the potential for less suffering, more connection, and a better life.
“No matter how thin you slice it, there will always be two sides”
My Approach to Therapy
Many times in my life I have felt stuck, unable to find a solution to the problems that appeared. No matter what I thought or tried, nothing was fixing these problems. I had no solution.
It was only through ‘new eyes’ and ‘fresh input’ that I had any success with these problems. Some things in my life could not be fixed by working alone. I needed help from someone who could see what I could not see, and think what I could not think.
If you currently feel stuck and need a new approach, then Existential Therapy might be the help you need.
I can work with you to analyse your problems and internal conflicts, and identify possible solutions. My goal is to help you find new insight and fresh approaches. These approaches are hopefully based in reality, and reflect what is achievable.
I cannot guarantee any perfect solutions or amazing outcomes, as most of the time in life, this is not possible. My aim is simply for better and sustainable.
Seeking help when it is needed is the key.
Mark
“The secret of happiness, you see, is not found in seeking more, but in developing the capacity to enjoy less”
How I can work with you to resolve your deeper problems in life
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We humans are wired to be connected and to belong. When we lack connection, we experience fear and anxiety. How do you maintain connection in our world without being overwhelmed with anxiety and fear?
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No human can avoid feeling the pain in life. Happiness and sadness are both natural and temporary emotions. Can I accept all my emotions and the pain life brings?
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Most of our problems are internal, and are produced by conflicting inner desires and drives. How do I resolve this inner conflict so I can have peace of mind?
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Most conflict between people is brought on by poor communication and not acknowledging our different needs. How can you better communicate and work with others to resolve conflicts where both sides can benefit?
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When we struggle to find meaning and purpose in life, we typically experience fear and anxiety. To reduce these feelings we either disconnect from the world and ourselves, or distract ourselves by staying busy and pursuing obsessive goals. How do we deal with this problem without having to disconnect?
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Motivation and purpose is strongly connected to your will. When you are not connected to your will, you will look to follow the will of others, or lack motivation and drive. How can you connect with your will?
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Sometimes we believe our fantasy/imagination is real. However, as we live in the real world, this leads to problems in our life when our fantasies do not match our reality. How can we let go of our fantasies and accept what is real?
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You cannot do everything alone. You also cannot know everything. Can you accept these limitations, let go of what you cannot control, and ask for help when you need it?
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The past cannot be changed. Neither can this moment. But the immediate future can be different. How can I accept my past and present so I can focus on my next reaction?
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We often get caught doing things for others that they should do for themselves. At times, we don’t step up and accept what we are responsible for. What is your job/task? What are your responsible for?
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We are at our best when we can think and feel at the same time. Being all emotions is not helpful, nor is having all thoughts and no emotions. How can you be connected to your feelings and thoughts at the same time?
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Change is most effective when we focus on small changes to everyday situations. Small improvements over time are more helpful than big changes. How can you form new daily habits and rituals to make lasting change?
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One key does not fit all locks. When we get stuck, we typically are using an approach that is ineffective but one we are comfortable using. How can you adopt a new, more effective approach?
“It is difficult to find happiness within oneself, but it is impossible to find it anywhere else.”
Arthur Schopenhauer
